“If you’re burnt out and struggling, you don’t need more productivity. NOPE. What you really need is a break.” – Unknown
Let’s jump right in…Do you forget to put yourself first? Do you run yourself ragged trying to accomplish 20 million things each day? When you push yourself too far, do you tend to feel a sense of inner emptiness?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, don’t worry because you are NOT alone. Today, I felt inclined to take the day off from doing anything. Why? Because I knew I was at the edge of my rope and needed to reset. If I am being frank with you all, my number one flaw that people always seem to point out to me is that I don’t invest enough of myself into my relationships. I don’t care to see people or spend time with them because I end up needing my alone time and I take it. I will find a way out of attending events, doing things with friends, or avoid spending time with my family because I need to be alone. It is one thing I have always struggled with because at the end of the day, is it really THAT horrible that I NEED my alone time in order to feel fulfilled or to function? Should I feel like a terrible person because I want to run errands, go to the gym, or sit on the couch and binge watch Grey’s Anatomy? I honestly go back and forth with my answer to those questions. I know deep down, in my heart, I need the time to myself. That way, I can continue being the happy, bright and fun-spirited person that I am 95% of the time. On the other hand, I feel BAD. I feel horrible that I’m willing to put myself first over my friends, family, etc. I would like to think this inner struggle is a very typical argument people have with themselves. But, I know everyone is different, and every single individual processes things differently. Some people need to run around doing things, or constantly need to be hanging out with friends to feel fulfilled, which is FINE. My intention with this post today, is simply to inform readers that being BURNT OUT, IS REAL. It is VALID. AND THAT YOU CANNOT IGNORE YOUR FEELINGS.
"My intention with this post today, is simply to inform readers that being BURNT OUT, IS REAL. It is VALID. AND THAT YOU CANNOT IGNORE YOUR FEELINGS."
Now, I started researching today what it truly means to be, ” burnt out” and it brought me to, “The 12 Stages of Burn Out” (https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/the-12-stages-of-burnout-according-to-psychologist.html).
I wanted to touch on all 12 stages briefly with you readers because I hope that if you’re reading this, it’s because you are either like me, or can relate to my feelings in some way, shape, or form. With that being said, let’s dive right into the 12 stages…
The Compulsion to Prove Oneself: demonstrating worth obsessively; those with enthusiasm who accept responsibility readily.
Working Harder: an inability to switch off.
Neglecting Needs: erratic sleeping, eating disrupted, lack of social interaction.
Displacement of Conflicts: problems are dismissed; we may feel threatened, panicky, and jittery.
Revision of Values: Values are skewed, friends and family dismissed, hobbies seen as irrelevant.
Denial of Emerging Problems: intolerance; perceiving collaborators as stupid, lazy, demanding, or undisciplined; social contacts harder; cynicism, aggression; problems are viewed as caused by time pressure and work, not because of life changes.
Withdrawal: social life small or nonexistent, need to feel relief from stress, alcohol/drugs.
Odd Behavioral Changes: changes in behavior obvious; friends and family concerned.
Depersonalization: seeing neither self nor others as valuable, and no longer perceive own needs.
Inner Emptiness: feeling empty inside and to overcome this, look for activity such as overeating, alcohol, or drugs; activities are often exaggerated.
Depression: feeling lost and unsure, exhausted, future feels bleak and dark.
Burnout Syndrome: can include total mental and physical collapse; time for full medical attention.
Obviously, some of these stages are much more serious as the burn out process grows, but they are all valid regardless of the extent of the stage itself. What I mean by that is, let’s say number 10 is something you tend to feel during the burn out phase; but rather than indulging in drugs or alcohol you simply sit on the couch and ponder what you’re even doing with your life. That is something I feel sometimes and I am not afraid to admit it. The further along I am in the phases of running myself ragged with work, friends, events, blogging, social media, etc. I start to feel empty inside even though my life is FILLED with activities.
Neglecting needs is another stage that tends to happen to me. I forget to get 8 hours of sleep, I don’t eat properly, I get sick and ignore it, simply to keep pushing myself because the FOMO is real, or because I compare my busy life to others who have EVEN BUSIER lives. And hey, if they can do it, I can too, right? WRONG. Everyone NEEDS different things to feel fulfilled. Everyone processes events, situations, work, etc. differently, which is crucial to remember.
So, after all that information, HOW DO WE PREVENT OURSELVES FROM BECOMING BURNT OUT? Well, I like to think some of the things I do, can be beneficial for those reading this post.
Reevaluate your priorities. – What is it that is most important to YOU?
Ask yourself this question FIRST.
Determine what YOU need and allow for yourself to have it. – What fuels your soul?
Is it reading? Running? FIND IT AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO DO IT, WHATEVER IT IS.
Set aside time to relax. – Relaxation is KEY. Take a bath, read a book, watch a
movie, etc. Do whatever it is that you need to get some uninterrupted relaxation time in.
Take a break from social media. – Social media can dominate our time, it is important to
allow yourself to take a break from it when necessary. Track the time spent on your phone,
and determine a time limit.
Get creative! – I always have more fun when I get the chance to write or bake something new in the kitchen.
Try something new! – I love the challenge of a new task or new process. Meditation has
been a big one for me lately. I never truly believed in the powers of it, but it has been VERY beneficial for my well being lately.
Limit your contact with negative energy – If you feel that something is negative in your
life, CUT IT OUT. Trust me, you don’t need any negative energy when you’re already
feeling burnt out. Instead, try to surround yourself with positive energy, positive people,
or positive surroundings.
COMMUNICATE – This one is the hardest for me. I never tell people when I need my
alone time. I never tell people when I feel burnt out, I simply revert into my shell and avoid
people. THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER. It is so important to vocalize how you are feeling
and to lean on those closest to you.
Those are just some of my tips! Again, everyone is different, so if anyone reading this has more tips, please share them in the comment section! At the end of the day, we all go through stress and anxiety to some extent. What is important is to realize and understand when the burn out is happening, so that we can attempt to prevent it. So, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. RESET YOUR BODY, MIND. DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO FEEL FULFILLED. This is your life and no one else is living it. You should never feel like you’re not good enough because you handle a busy schedule, or stress differently than someone else. At the end of the day, we all simply need to protect our spirit; our flames, from being burnt out.
XOXO,
Kara
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